Wow, I just realized it has been over a year since my last blog post. I have no idea if anyone even reads this and cares, but I figured I’d offer up an explaination and get back into writing.
This last year of my life has been crazy. I wrote a book, had my first boyfriend, broke up with my first boyfriend, parents got separated, moved to a new town where I didn’t know anyone- leaving behind a slew of friends who were strong believers and kept me going strong, started a new job, suffered from loneliness and spent month after month in the valley.
I didn’t stop writing because I was too busy or had no ideas. i stopped writing because I was fleeing from God because of shame and anger and rebellion. This last year, I have done some shameful things that I wish I could take back, but that’s not how it works. That is something the Lord has never allowed His children to do, and I believe it is because He loves us. In the valleys and in our own rebellion we are given great opportunities to learn about ourselves and our Father. I am not saying rebellion is the key to understanding. That would be heracy. The Lord hates rebellion. It is the turn from rebellion back to our first Love. That turn and that trail back to Him is one of the most difficult things you will do in your life, but it is also the most gratifying. Dear reader, if you are living in rebellion and have a want to turn back to Him, but are afraid. If you feel as though you are lost in a tunnel and cannot see the light at the end, Run. Run straight to Him! i don’t care if you can’t see the light at the end it. Know and have faith that it is Christ standing there, ready to welcome you into His strong, peace-bringing embrace. You will not find fulfillment anywhere else. Nor will you find true rest. Run like your life depends on it, because it does! Your physical life and spiritual life depend on the relationship you have with your Heavenly Father.
THe Lord has been teaching me about freedom over the last few weeks. Freedom from sin, freedom from loneliness, guilt and shame. I have been trying to grasp the concept of freedom. I know what it is like to feel free when I am burdenless, but is it possible to soar in the valleys as well as in the mountain tops? I believe it is. Freedom in Christ is an unconditional freedom. It shouldn’t matter what we are going through. Put on your Helmet of Salvation and remember! it is no coincidence that Paul puts the Helmet of Salvation on our heads in Ephesians 6. No coincidence that the Belt of Truth is around our center and the Shoes of the Gospel of Peace on our feet. We are to keep our salvation at the forefront of our thoughts because we are free from sin! Do you understand what that means?! FREE! Free from sin. Believer, we cannot die! For us, death is but a moment. As soon as our eyes close here on earth, our eyes open in heaven and will remain in that glorious state for all eternity!
We are free from self doubt. It is not about us. When we finally grasp this truth, the heaviest burden we bear falls off our shoulders and we can be like children. Dance before your Father because you want to. Sing! Make up songs, laugh and love. We were not created to be in bondage. Open your hands in a holy surrender, take off your shoes and feel the grass beneath your feet. Pray out loud, scream and cry, jump up and down. Rejoice! Your burden is lifted!
